‘Like’-Minded People

We all have many likes in life and many things and people we do not like. The way we express our likes and dislikes (or should I say ‘unlikes’?) vary from person to person and situation to situation.

Before the advent of social media people expressed their likes and dislikes with fairly the same mental ease though the proportion of likes and dislikes expressed in public varied from person to person. Broadly we can place people into three categories on the like-dislike scale. There are some people who are miserly in expressing what they like but too eager to express what they don’t like forcefully. On the other side of the scale is the kind of people who are expressive about their likes and possibly hide what they don’t like. And there is the third type of people who are on balance expressing their likes and dislikes in more or less equal measure.

However, in recent times I see a broad change in the pattern of expressing ‘likes’ and ‘dislikes’ on the social media. People who post anything or share somebody else’s post want other people to like their post. That’s natural. Everyone wants positive affirmation, if not appreciation. The general trend on social media is that people who like a particular post, an opinion, a picture or a video clip quickly click the ‘like’ button. However, a vast majority of those who do not like a post do not click the ‘unlike’ button. People seriously hesitate to express their dislike for a view on social network. Not that all such people are incapable of disagreement with a view posted by a friend or colleague.

Do you experience this in your social media behaviour or at least noticed others behaving this way? I do experience this in my own social media behaviour and I notice several others doing the same way.

Why do people behave this way? There could be many reasons. Here is a sample few.

1. Most people do not want to disagree in public, that too on an indelible medium. There is a record of who liked what and who ‘unliked’ what and you have no chance of editing or correcting.  Unlike a personal conversation the social media is overly public for a meaningful conversation.
2. The fleeting nature of the social media message doesn’t often allow people to think through an issue and express a considered opinion. Everyone is expressing the top of mind views rather than what is deep in the mind. Liking someone’s view is much less risky than ‘unliking’ someone’s view. You don’t need to explain why you like something; but often you need to explain why you don’t like something or someone. That is the unfair and unwritten expectation on the social media. So, if you don’t like or agree on something the safest thing is to keep quiet and stay away from trouble.
3. Most people place harmony above truth. If by saying the truth you are likely to alienate your friend you are likely to choose to be nice and agreeable rather than truthful. Most people seem to be always on a congeniality contest! Friendship is valued higher than honesty on the social media. Maybe because most of those who you have ‘friended’ on Facebook are in fact ‘friended’ friends than real friends. The friendship band here is tied on very fragile threads. With real friends you have the freedom to disagree and dislike.

Are you a ‘like’-minded person?  

‘There are two freedoms- the false, where a man is free to do what he likes; the true, where he is free to do what he ought.’- Charles Kingsley