Sparkling Joy

With Christmas and New Year around the corner most people are in a season of happiness and good cheer, like in other festive seasons. Who doesn’t need a break from the drudgery of daily life with an occasional uplifting experience or at least a perception of happiness? So I thought I will write something that will go with the positive mood in the misty air.

One of my friends recently sent me his latest article largely influenced by the Buddhist philosophy, his experience and wisdom. The underlying thought is that for lasting peace one needs to get into a state of still mind. This can be achieved by the practice of meditation and purposeful or passionate involvement in any activity that takes you into a ‘flow state’. This thought is very appealing, logical and probably experiential for many. In fact, most religions teach this principle in some way or other. The ultimate attainment of ‘salvation’ or ‘moksha’ is the absence of friction, conflict, duality etc., Such a blissful state of mind is like the quiet flow of a river or the still waters of a lotus pond.

We find fine and glittering sand particles on the sea shore and smooth and shiny pebbles on the riverside. Both are serene sights. The flows and ebbs of sea waves break rocks into fine sand and the continuous flow of river water makes rough stones into smooth pebbles. Possibly water is the smoothing agent. We also know that water doesn’t do this architect’s job intentionally, nor does the rock purposefully go for a swim in the river or the ocean. They happen to be there and the motion is influenced by other factors such as wind, gravity and air pressure etc.,

A recent video shared on Facebook showed a swift and amazing flow of broken stones and pebbles in a desert of the Middle East without a drop of water seen anywhere. So, to be in the flow, it is not necessary to be in the form of a liquid. A billion galaxies are moving in a near perfect flow state with occasional mis-alignments creating major and minor cosmic tremors.

Some years back during my first visit to the USA I had a small experience with ‘still water’ in a Dallas restaurant. While having dinner the waiter asked me if I would prefer ‘still water’ or ‘sparkling water’ to drink. That was the first time I was hearing the term ‘sparkling water’. I was more used to soda water, club soda, carbonated drinks etc., in India. So it did not instantly ring a bell in my mind that it is just another term for the humble soda water. Yet, the word sparkling ignited a spark and therefore, I opted for sparkling water without knowing what it was. Possibly my sub conscious mind would have processed the decision thinking that anything sparkling must be better than something still and dull. No doubt the dinner was a sparkling experience with lots of youngsters cheering their favorite players while watching an interesting baseball match on the large screens.

Fresh lime added with sparkling water and a few mint leaves provides a refreshing experience, just as the sparkling water when added to certain other liquids uplifts the spirits. Where does the water gain the sparkling quality from? Interestingly it is the air that is making the sparks. It is common belief that life forms evolved from water. Yet, we also know that life is just a matter of a breath (of fresh or polluted air). So we have breath taking ecstasies in life when we experience wonderful surprises and heart-stopping near death or real death when the wind refuses to travel back and forth the pipe!  

What is your preference? A still mind of ‘nothingness’ or a sparkling mind of ‘something-ness’? Either way you are blessed. Let life be a journey of alternating experiences between still joy and sparkling joy. Enjoy the season!

‘Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.’ – Abraham Lincoln 

‘Like’-Minded People

We all have many likes in life and many things and people we do not like. The way we express our likes and dislikes (or should I say ‘unlikes’?) vary from person to person and situation to situation.

Before the advent of social media people expressed their likes and dislikes with fairly the same mental ease though the proportion of likes and dislikes expressed in public varied from person to person. Broadly we can place people into three categories on the like-dislike scale. There are some people who are miserly in expressing what they like but too eager to express what they don’t like forcefully. On the other side of the scale is the kind of people who are expressive about their likes and possibly hide what they don’t like. And there is the third type of people who are on balance expressing their likes and dislikes in more or less equal measure.

However, in recent times I see a broad change in the pattern of expressing ‘likes’ and ‘dislikes’ on the social media. People who post anything or share somebody else’s post want other people to like their post. That’s natural. Everyone wants positive affirmation, if not appreciation. The general trend on social media is that people who like a particular post, an opinion, a picture or a video clip quickly click the ‘like’ button. However, a vast majority of those who do not like a post do not click the ‘unlike’ button. People seriously hesitate to express their dislike for a view on social network. Not that all such people are incapable of disagreement with a view posted by a friend or colleague.

Do you experience this in your social media behaviour or at least noticed others behaving this way? I do experience this in my own social media behaviour and I notice several others doing the same way.

Why do people behave this way? There could be many reasons. Here is a sample few.

1. Most people do not want to disagree in public, that too on an indelible medium. There is a record of who liked what and who ‘unliked’ what and you have no chance of editing or correcting.  Unlike a personal conversation the social media is overly public for a meaningful conversation.
2. The fleeting nature of the social media message doesn’t often allow people to think through an issue and express a considered opinion. Everyone is expressing the top of mind views rather than what is deep in the mind. Liking someone’s view is much less risky than ‘unliking’ someone’s view. You don’t need to explain why you like something; but often you need to explain why you don’t like something or someone. That is the unfair and unwritten expectation on the social media. So, if you don’t like or agree on something the safest thing is to keep quiet and stay away from trouble.
3. Most people place harmony above truth. If by saying the truth you are likely to alienate your friend you are likely to choose to be nice and agreeable rather than truthful. Most people seem to be always on a congeniality contest! Friendship is valued higher than honesty on the social media. Maybe because most of those who you have ‘friended’ on Facebook are in fact ‘friended’ friends than real friends. The friendship band here is tied on very fragile threads. With real friends you have the freedom to disagree and dislike.

Are you a ‘like’-minded person?  

‘There are two freedoms- the false, where a man is free to do what he likes; the true, where he is free to do what he ought.’- Charles Kingsley  

Toilets and Training

A recent news item in the Economic Times reveal that of the 10 Million new toilets built under the Swachh Bharat Abhiyan in the last one year since the program was launched only less than 50% is used for the purpose for which these were built. Not that this is happening only in the rural areas, even in the urban areas the trend is no better.

We know that in India government spending on social welfare often misses the target. However, unlike the Public Distribution System for food grains, sugar or kerosene, toilets cannot be sold in black market. So why is it that even in such a non-tradable product only half the users benefit from the initiative? It is not that the other half families are not using these toilets. Many of them use these new structures for storing food grains and other agricultural items. They think a nicely built enclosure is not to be desecrated by the daily dose of excreta when there are enough greener, bushy and airy open spaces available for the job. Sound logic it may sound!

Probably there was some defect in the problem definition. The problem got stuck with the toilet. The problem was seen as a large number of Indian families not having ‘pucca’ toilets. Therefore, the solution was straight forward. Set a target to build a certain number of toilets within a specified time. Budgets allocated, contractors identified and the job done! This is not to show the initiative in poor light. The initiative is very laudable and the 50% success made a big difference to five million families. The initiative involved acknowledging an acute basic need, financial planning and physical implementation.

When we broaden the problem to define the need as health, hygiene and safety of the citizens the solution will not stop at the toilet door. The solution should result in using toilets for the intended purpose. That would need a change in the behaviour and eventually developing new habits in life. Behaviour modification often needs much more than physical infrastructure and budgets.  

Psychologists and training managers know this. Behaviour modification is no easy task for any one, leave alone the government agencies. Corporate companies with defined KRA’s (key result areas) and incentives find it difficult to change the behaviour of people. Everyone is comfortable the way one has always been.  

Over two millennia ago Plato found that ‘human behaviour flows from three main sources: desire, emotion and knowledge.’ Notice that even the great philosopher places knowledge at third place when it comes to human behaviour. Repeated communication and demonstration of benefits, along with adequate incentives would be required to break the gravitational orbit of entrenched habits. That would probably kindle the desire for a new behaviour and eventually lock in the new habit with some emotional glue.

Let’s come back to the toilet revolution. Changing a daily habit is surely not a day’s task. It needs many attempts and continuous motivation. Trained and motivated village level officials or volunteers working with the beneficiaries could have achieved higher usage of the newly built toilets. Motivating the motivators is the bigger challenge in the government bureaucracy as well as in the corporate hierarchy. Training without motivation results in wasted resources.